Yes or no? A simple question. Yet so hard for some children with special needs to answer.
The most effective, simple, non-verbal communication method we have used with our daughter has been teaching her how to tell us "yes" or "no" in a way that works for her. This has not been easy, since she does not shake or nod her head, does not point, has trouble with signing, and she is non verbal. What a challenge.
We figured that we could find out almost anything from asking yes or no questions. But how could we get her to tell us? I mentioned what she could not do, which made communication a challenge. But she could physically pull PECS pictures off of velcro. So we began with what she could do.
We designed a small velcro card with "Yes" and "No" squares attached to it. It was portable, needed very little explanation for use with other people (like childcare workers at church, or other therapists or teachers), and very easy and cheap to make. We chose text on a plain background, because Lilli can read. Lilli chooses and pulls the answer card off of the velcro. Others might consider colors and faces, depending on your child's needs. This is a great starting point for any child who is not showing interest or success with sign language, and for parents and teachers who do not have access to a
communication device. (On a side note, we did try cutting out pictures and words and laying them on the floor. This did not really work well with our daughter at first, perhaps because of the visual difference of looking down at the cards. Plus there is just something about velcro. Everything is trial and error.)
After months of teaching her to pull the card off, (I tell a little about the method of teaching her at the end of this post) Lilli did finally learn to point and touch a yes or no button on an ipad or iphone screen. This took us a very long time, but it was so worth the months of repetitive teaching. Now we can give her choices about many things, from what she wants to wear, to whether she likes or wants something, to if she is tired, or... just about anything. We still keep the cards around, because they are great back-up in case the device needs charging, etc.
One of our favorite apps is the "Yes No" app. Ours is called "Answers:YesNo Free" made by SimplifiedTouch Education. You can change the voice, select pictures or text, and there is a second page with a set of buttons as well, that you can design to say whatever you want. Lilli's has a child's voice saying "Yes" or "No" for her when she touches the buttons. I LOVE, love this functional app, and we use it all the time. It is so easy to pull the phone out of my pocket and ask her a quick question. She has learned to look at it and touch the buttons purposefully, to answer me. The bonus is that it is free! There is an upgrade for $1.99 which gives you more options for screens and buttons. There are many Yes or no apps, but be careful before you select and buy one. Some are only for fun, and are more like fortune telling apps where you ask a silly question and it answers "yes" or "no" for you. So make sure you are buying a functional speech yes or no app, not a fun one.
On Lilli's ipad, she has a folder in her Proloquo2Go app with just "Yes" or "No." We use the velcro cards, the ipad, and the iphone app depending on where we are and what we are doing. The great thing about the velcro cards is they are cheap, and if you lose them, it is not the end of the world.
Sometimes it might take a long while, and it feels like a never ending game of "Twenty Questions." But at least we have a place to start. One of the biggest challenges was to teach her that she actually had a choice, since she spent the first six years of her life not really having a "say."
Important points to remember:
1. Always keep the yes and no in the same place. We do not switch them up to "test" our daughter. This is functional communication. Think of how you speak to others in everyday conversation. Typically, I say, "Would you like this? Yes or no?" The yes comes first when I give a verbal choice. Most people put the yes first. So on the card, I always put the yes on the left. I tell everyone who uses the card to keep it that way. Sometimes Lilli will feel and grab, and not look. She assumes that the "yes" card is consistently on the left, so we keep it that way for her.
2. Use it all day long, for even the little things. This helps your child feel a sense of control in his or her life. I ask my daughter, "Would you like tomato on your sandwich?" "Would you like to wear this shirt?" "Do you want to go outside?" Non verbal children often have very little control in their lives, and they might be used to just doing what everyone tells them to do. We noticed a positive change in our daughter as we began to give her more choices in her life each day. We are teaching her that her opinion matters. As a parent, I had to learn to catch myself and anytime I would say, "Come on, Lilli, let's...." I would change it to, "Lilli, would you like to...?" and I would hold up the yes no cards for her to give her choice. Then I had to honor that choice, so I made sure I only gave her a choice when there was actually an option for her to say yes or no.
3. Word your questions clearly and carefully. Avoid double negatives. If possible, put the object in front of the child as you are asking about it.
Good example: (bowl of popcorn in front of child) "Do you want some popcorn? Yes or no?"
Bad example: (no popcorn in sight) Do you not want a snack? Don't you want popcorn?" (Huh?!)
4. Have patience! This is new! Do not be frustrated when beginning to teach your child this method. Try different ideas until you find a way that works. If your child cannot read, make the yes a green smiley face, and the no a red frown face. If the velcro is too hard for their fine motor skills, use magnets on the backs of the cards, and a small tin ( for example you might paint over the back of an old Altoid tin or find some other small magnetic surface to use. The Altoid tin would work well to keep in your purse or bag, and you could store the yes no cards inside it when not in use.)
5. Be consistent and try many times, do not give up! Remember, this might be a completely new concept to your child. It may take a little while for your child to realize how great it is to have a say! Our daughter did not get it right away. We tried consistently for many weeks until one day we realized, wow, she got it! Now, it is a part of our everyday life with her.
Tips for how to teach:
Begin with hand over hand. Model it for your child. Start with an easy choice. "Do you want to play with this toy? Yes or no?" Take your child's hand and help them point to, grab, or touch the yes and no as you slowly say them. If they do not answer, model by helping them push/select the "Yes" and say, "Yes, I want to play with this toy. Ok, yes, let's play with it." Then sit down and play with the toy with your child for a few minutes.
Model again. "Do you want to keep playing with this toy? Yes or no?" Take your child's hand and slowly touch each choice. If your child seems ready to be done with the toy, model: "No, I am all done with this toy." Select "no." Put the toy away.
Try with other activities. "Do you want a chip? Yes or no?" If your child loves chips, help them touch the yes, and then give them a chip! Food works well to teach a child to use "yes or no" in making choices.
Teaching our daughter how to "say" yes or no has been life changing for us, and I hope it helps someone else too! Please comment if this is helpful to you or if you have any other tips for using "yes" or "no." Thanks!
The most effective, simple, non-verbal communication method we have used with our daughter has been teaching her how to tell us "yes" or "no" in a way that works for her. This has not been easy, since she does not shake or nod her head, does not point, has trouble with signing, and she is non verbal. What a challenge.
We figured that we could find out almost anything from asking yes or no questions. But how could we get her to tell us? I mentioned what she could not do, which made communication a challenge. But she could physically pull PECS pictures off of velcro. So we began with what she could do.
We designed a small velcro card with "Yes" and "No" squares attached to it. It was portable, needed very little explanation for use with other people (like childcare workers at church, or other therapists or teachers), and very easy and cheap to make. We chose text on a plain background, because Lilli can read. Lilli chooses and pulls the answer card off of the velcro. Others might consider colors and faces, depending on your child's needs. This is a great starting point for any child who is not showing interest or success with sign language, and for parents and teachers who do not have access to a
One of our favorite apps is the "Yes No" app. Ours is called "Answers:YesNo Free" made by SimplifiedTouch Education. You can change the voice, select pictures or text, and there is a second page with a set of buttons as well, that you can design to say whatever you want. Lilli's has a child's voice saying "Yes" or "No" for her when she touches the buttons. I LOVE, love this functional app, and we use it all the time. It is so easy to pull the phone out of my pocket and ask her a quick question. She has learned to look at it and touch the buttons purposefully, to answer me. The bonus is that it is free! There is an upgrade for $1.99 which gives you more options for screens and buttons. There are many Yes or no apps, but be careful before you select and buy one. Some are only for fun, and are more like fortune telling apps where you ask a silly question and it answers "yes" or "no" for you. So make sure you are buying a functional speech yes or no app, not a fun one.
 |
| A screen shot of the Yes No app on my phone |
Sometimes it might take a long while, and it feels like a never ending game of "Twenty Questions." But at least we have a place to start. One of the biggest challenges was to teach her that she actually had a choice, since she spent the first six years of her life not really having a "say."
Important points to remember:
1. Always keep the yes and no in the same place. We do not switch them up to "test" our daughter. This is functional communication. Think of how you speak to others in everyday conversation. Typically, I say, "Would you like this? Yes or no?" The yes comes first when I give a verbal choice. Most people put the yes first. So on the card, I always put the yes on the left. I tell everyone who uses the card to keep it that way. Sometimes Lilli will feel and grab, and not look. She assumes that the "yes" card is consistently on the left, so we keep it that way for her.
2. Use it all day long, for even the little things. This helps your child feel a sense of control in his or her life. I ask my daughter, "Would you like tomato on your sandwich?" "Would you like to wear this shirt?" "Do you want to go outside?" Non verbal children often have very little control in their lives, and they might be used to just doing what everyone tells them to do. We noticed a positive change in our daughter as we began to give her more choices in her life each day. We are teaching her that her opinion matters. As a parent, I had to learn to catch myself and anytime I would say, "Come on, Lilli, let's...." I would change it to, "Lilli, would you like to...?" and I would hold up the yes no cards for her to give her choice. Then I had to honor that choice, so I made sure I only gave her a choice when there was actually an option for her to say yes or no.
3. Word your questions clearly and carefully. Avoid double negatives. If possible, put the object in front of the child as you are asking about it.
Good example: (bowl of popcorn in front of child) "Do you want some popcorn? Yes or no?"
Bad example: (no popcorn in sight) Do you not want a snack? Don't you want popcorn?" (Huh?!)
4. Have patience! This is new! Do not be frustrated when beginning to teach your child this method. Try different ideas until you find a way that works. If your child cannot read, make the yes a green smiley face, and the no a red frown face. If the velcro is too hard for their fine motor skills, use magnets on the backs of the cards, and a small tin ( for example you might paint over the back of an old Altoid tin or find some other small magnetic surface to use. The Altoid tin would work well to keep in your purse or bag, and you could store the yes no cards inside it when not in use.)
5. Be consistent and try many times, do not give up! Remember, this might be a completely new concept to your child. It may take a little while for your child to realize how great it is to have a say! Our daughter did not get it right away. We tried consistently for many weeks until one day we realized, wow, she got it! Now, it is a part of our everyday life with her.
Tips for how to teach:
Begin with hand over hand. Model it for your child. Start with an easy choice. "Do you want to play with this toy? Yes or no?" Take your child's hand and help them point to, grab, or touch the yes and no as you slowly say them. If they do not answer, model by helping them push/select the "Yes" and say, "Yes, I want to play with this toy. Ok, yes, let's play with it." Then sit down and play with the toy with your child for a few minutes.
Model again. "Do you want to keep playing with this toy? Yes or no?" Take your child's hand and slowly touch each choice. If your child seems ready to be done with the toy, model: "No, I am all done with this toy." Select "no." Put the toy away.
Try with other activities. "Do you want a chip? Yes or no?" If your child loves chips, help them touch the yes, and then give them a chip! Food works well to teach a child to use "yes or no" in making choices.
Teaching our daughter how to "say" yes or no has been life changing for us, and I hope it helps someone else too! Please comment if this is helpful to you or if you have any other tips for using "yes" or "no." Thanks!
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